My Adventures in (Trying) Online Dating Part 2

I was pleasantly surprised by how many people liked the first blog post on online dating, so I thought I would add a part two.  I think this is an issue that many people can relate to, so here I go…again!

I think there are many mistakes that people make when trying the whole online dating thing.  One thing in particular that turned me off was when a potential suitor would not even take the time to put together a coherent or interesting first message.  If you’re first message to me is “U r hot” or just “Hey,” then you’re probably not going to be hearing back from me.  Why?  Well, I’m going to feel like you couldn’t take the time to actually try to peak my interest, so why should I take time to get to know you?  Also, if you cannot force yourself to be literate when reaching out to me, that probably won’t make me swoon, either.  Sorry, I like my men well educated, thank you very much!  You should take the time to write a real message that mentions the other person’s profile.  If there’s a common interest, make sure they know that!  If there’s something you really connected with, mention it!

Another turn off or mistake is trying to get personal information from someone.  Sorry, no one needs a potential stalker or identify thief on her hands!  There’s a reason why I didn’t have my first name or full last name on my profile.  If you ask me where I live, I’m going to be ridiculously vague and name a town somewhat near the one where I really live.  Ask me where I work, and I’ll respond “In the San Gabriel Valley,” and that’s as specific as I’m going to get.  For those who don’t know, that encompasses several towns.  Yes, I’ve seriously had guys try to find out where I live, work, etc.  A friend of mine actually had a guy repeatedly try to get her last name from her.  He would end every single message with a request for her last name.  When she wouldn’t give him the information, he got angry and started cussing her out.   Be patient.  If a relationship ends up developing, you’ll find out what you need or want to know. 

Also, you should really never lie about what you’re like.  Just be authentic.  That should go without saying, but it doesn’t!  If you say you’re a musician, than I expect you to, like, actually be a musician who plays gigs and things like that. Simply having a picture of yourself with a guitar and calling yourself a musician when you only occasionally play just doesn’t cut it.  If you claim to be a gentleman in your profile and then proposition me during our 1st or 2nd conversations, you’re a dirty rotten liar who has now wasted both of our time.  Be honest!  That is the only way you’ll find who you’re really looking for. 

In addition to that, if I say on my profile that I am a certain way and I want a certain type of guy or relationship, then please take that for fact.  Don’t reach out to me, or any other woman, who you are obviously not a match for.  Again, it’s a total waste of time.  Just keep searching for one who matches your criteria and for whom you’re a match for hers.  Sure, it may take time, but it’ll be worth it in the long run.

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